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First blog post in a blog that this time I really do intend to keep. I'm not to sure what it will be about, I know that I won't go into incredible amounts of deatil about my life, because I know no one wants to know that, and I probably won't be posting many pictures because that what I use Tumblr for. Most likely this blog will be about fashion, make up and the occassional post where I write about anything. Today is probably going to be one of those posts where I write about anything.
Point of discussion today: Eating Disorders.
So, I'm 19 years old, last summer I was diagnosed with an Atypical Eating Disorder. They never really explained to me what that meant. I was overweight, but I lost 3 stone in 3 months by excersising for almost 2 hours every day and restricting myself to 1000 calories a day. Finally I was no longer overweight, according to the scales and the doctors I was a normal healthy weight for my size, and I could stop. But I didn't stop, by August my ribs and hip bones poked through my skin, the boy I was seeing was shocked at how clearly he could see my bones when we were together, but I didn't care. These bones meant strength, they meant that I had the strength and control to be who I wanted to be, that I wasn't the speccy fat girl with frizzy hair, I could be anyone.
I don't know what it was that changed my mind, but one day I just decided to get better. I slowly upped my calorie intake, which at that point was 800. I went from 800 - 1000 - 1200 - 1500 - to not counting my calories anymore. And now I'm a normal weight again, sometimes I feel disgusting and I long to see those bones again, but then I look closer in the mirror and I see the soft curves that make me the person I am supposed to be, I have boobs and hips and a bum, and finally I think that I am okay with that.