New template, book reviews and vampires.

I decided to change the face of my blog, I'm liking it, but I don't like that my name is aligned to the left instead of center, but I can't work out how to change it.

I've been off from college the last two days because I've got a throat infection. So, I've spent two days reading and sleeping. I've finished reading a book called Finding Sky by Joss Stirling. I have to admit that I wasn't too impressed, the book started off well but when it got to half way it just sort of lagged. Maybe it's because I'm practically twenty years old and it's a book that is written for around the 14+ age range. But I think it's more the fact that it was just a bit boring. One of those books that means well, but when it comes to it is actually a bit.. rubbish?

Last night I started reading Dead until Dark by Charlaine Harris, one of the Sookie Stackhouse novels or True Blood. I'm not too far in but I have to say that so far I am enjoying it. After the whole Twilight phase, I felt a bit disillusioned by all the vampire hype. I read Twilight when I was 15 and loved it, re-read 2 years later with an A Level in English Lit and realised just how terribly written and incredibly sexist it is. So, after that I just expected all vampire books to be the same fan-girl kind of crap, unfair to Bram Stoker and Anne Rice, I know. However, my friend told me to give True Blood a go, and I had the entire series in Ebooks given to me by a friend of my mum's. And so I started last night. Charlaine Harris sets the scene perfectly, her descriptions allow you to really see Bon Temps and as a narrator Sookie is brilliant, she shows some naivety that comes from 25 years of virginity but this is outweighed by what she can see in the minds of others.
So far, I am really enjoying Dead Until Dark and am looking forward to finishing it and carrying on the series.

I have also just filled in an application form to work in a care home for elderly people with dementia. If I'm feeling better tomorrow then I am hoping to pop in and drop it off. Who knows, maybe after 3 years I won't be working in 'catering' any more..? I hope so, although I will miss Frankie's a bit, I've made some good friends there, but it's not what I want to do and it's time to move on. Mental health nursing ro midwifery are the careers I want to go into and waitressing won't get me there, and caring will.

Really, that's all I have to say for now. Just a quick update and a couple of half hearted book reviews.

panda eyes

since having dyed my hair red, i have come to realise that plum coloured lip tints/sticks/glosses are actually boss. i have been using sleek's pout polish in "perfect plum" and i love it! its a lip conditioner so my lips aren't chapped, and the tint is really bold too, and i have to have bold lip colours. i have a nice orangey/coral colour called "gay geranium" from number 7 and i think i might have to get a plum coloured lipstick from there too, as there lipsticks are the best chemist/highstreet range, in my opinion. the best "designer" is, of course yves saint laurent. i'll buy a number 7 lipstick when i'm paid, so expect swatches and reviews!

Take me out tonight

i want to go dancing, i want to do my hair and i want to tart myself up a bit. i want to have fun and i want to do anything. i'm so desperately unhappy at the moment and i need to do something to forget about it and move on, but it's proving harder than i thought it would be. there's a jumper i want, i might buy it because clothes fix most things, for a bit. but it's from topshop and i'm too pretentious to shop there.

You have a look about you that only the lovelorn have.

I don't want to be one of those people who put their life online for all to see. But sometimes it's just easier this way then it is to really talk about it.
I don't even know where to start with this sort of thing, the fact that a person could make me feel like this is bizarre to me, its pathetic and I know that, but it still doesn't change how I feel and how it hurts. I knew no good could come of this and I still tried for it, I should have listened to my friend "he will only ever fuck you over" but I didn't want to listen and now I feel like this.
I never thought that this sort of thing could physically hurt a person. I always thought that when someone referred to heartbreak that they were being metaphorical and stupid, now it seems that I was the only person being stupid.

I tried to do handstands for you, I tried to do handstands for you.

Not much has been up with me this week. I've been to college everyday this week, waking up over an hour before I have to go, so I have time to get ready properly and go to the shop and have breakfast and such. To some this won't seem like much, but to someone like me, who was to scared to leave the house for months, it's a big achievement.

Anyway, the point of this blog post today: Winter Clubbing Clothes.
That's right, what are we supposed to wear to a club in the middle of Janurary in less than freezing weather? I am supposed to be going out for my friend's 18th birthday tonight, I can't really be bothered and it's so cold that it puts me off, also Bournemouth is a bit of a chavtastic shit-hole. However, when I first started working with her 2 years ago, she made us all promise to go out for her 18th, she's been waiting 2 years to go out with us guys from work, so I can hardly say no.

Clothing dilemma: They are dressing up... as super heroes.. in Janurary. Luckily I can get out of this as I am leaving straight from work, and so can my other friends, but I know them and I know they will be wearing next to nothing as well, and they will freeze. What I want to wear is my high waisted jeans, boots, and a polar neck. Only problem is sweat marks on the polar neck from the club. So, I've decided on a sheer black blouse instead of the polar neck, but it being sheer doesn't provide much coverage. As you can tell, this is on my mind much more than it should be, but it's good in a way because it stops me thinking about something, or someone else. But this whole thing is ridiculous, I am 19 year old woman, living in the 21st century and I'm still worrying about what is going to look brilliant as hell, but still keep me warm in a club. Whatever happened to dressing for comfort? Was it just a myth?

1.

First blog post in a blog that this time I really do intend to keep. I'm not to sure what it will be about, I know that I won't go into incredible amounts of deatil about my life, because I know no one wants to know that, and I probably won't be posting many pictures because that what I use Tumblr for. Most likely this blog will be about fashion, make up and the occassional post where I write about anything. Today is probably going to be one of those posts where I write about anything.
Point of discussion today: Eating Disorders.
So, I'm 19 years old, last summer I was diagnosed with an Atypical Eating Disorder. They never really explained to me what that meant. I was overweight, but I lost 3 stone in 3 months by excersising for almost 2 hours every day and restricting myself to 1000 calories a day. Finally I was no longer overweight, according to the scales and the doctors I was a normal healthy weight for my size, and I could stop. But I didn't stop, by August my ribs and hip bones poked through my skin, the boy I was seeing was shocked at how clearly he could see my bones when we were together, but I didn't care. These bones meant strength, they meant that I had the strength and control to be who I wanted to be, that I wasn't the speccy fat girl with frizzy hair, I could be anyone.
I don't know what it was that changed my mind, but one day I just decided to get better. I slowly upped my calorie intake, which at that point was 800. I went from 800 - 1000 - 1200 - 1500 - to not counting my calories anymore. And now I'm a normal weight again, sometimes I feel disgusting and I long to see those bones again, but then I look closer in the mirror and I see the soft curves that make me the person I am supposed to be, I have boobs and hips and a bum, and finally I think that I am okay with that.